Too much gin, very little bucket
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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