Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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