So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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