Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize