Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
