The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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