so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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