If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
