i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
