So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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