Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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