and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize