I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
