I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
