Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
