Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
