Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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