I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
