I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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