Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Everything about him screamed your future.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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