i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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