kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
