Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
