I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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