Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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