i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
