We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
