I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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