we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
