I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
