I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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