in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
