I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
