Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
