what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
