it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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