Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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