I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
