Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
