My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
