The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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