I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
