the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
