I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
