he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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