don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
