Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
