Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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