he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
