It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do vagina's smell?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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