We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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