We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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