What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Still dying that you shit outside
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
