the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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