WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
