I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
