Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
