Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
