Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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