i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
